I admit to multitasking the March 3rd Republican debate with Robin Dreeke’s new book. That is, until Donald Trump’s response “Just look at the size of those hands,” crossed the screen. It was a response to Marco Rubio’s prior unfortunate joke “And you know what they say about guys with small hands” that occurred at a campaign rally the prior week. I had the feeling I was watching a campaign end, watching it go into free fall before my eyes, but I couldn’t have told you why, and it wasn’t confirmed until the Florida primary results arrived.
Which rules?
- Good heroes do not win by countering villainous with villainous.
Marco Rubio was branded as a values candidate, and he was applying for a heroic position. When he stepped in to counterpunch a joke with a crasser joke, he told one that crossed a line for most of his values watchers, and Trump made sure to allude to it so that we could all reimagine it. Robin Dreeke tells a story about road rage, and how he disarmed a passionately angry driver with smiles and calm empathy. Now, no one would expect Rubio’s opponents to be affected by such measures. Dreeke claims biology backs his claims though, so most viewers would be inclined to react positively to calm empathy (for the viewer), assuming it was also witty enough not to be entirely forgotten. Dreeke calls this ego suspension.
Worse, connections have to be encouraged with sincerity. When Rubio broke character, as a viewer it seemed we could perceive one of three choices, all bad for Rubio: 1) if he was insincere it could come off as uncaring and cold (especially to viewers with children watching) 2) if he was sincere he was showing his character could be broken — and if by this opponent here, what about it other higher stakes situations for our country? or 3) he was immature, young and belonged in the school yard. Stick with sincerity in character, on message.
2. Accommodating body language includes slower speech so that people can follow.
When Rubio gets excited he effervesces policy with rapid speech, as if he was speaking English as fast as he thinks, not at the rate we can hear. It may be great policy and yes there is a time limit at the debate, which is what makes us so willing to tune in and listen. But fewer words at a slower pace would make him sound more credible.
3. Listen
When the candidates intentionally talked over other repeatedly, on purpose and incessantly they all broke a cardinal rule — not only were they not listening, we couldn’t listen. When one candidate did it as a tactic, it was amusing if annoying. When they all did it, it was a turn off.In my opinion, however, he lost it at the first point, and the second two points are window dressing. If so, he lost an entire campaign by not rejecting one joke he will never forget — and taught a lesson we would do well never to forget.
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